The year 2011 was a great year for Oral Sex. (I know I’ve certainly met my protein quota…) When I reflect back upon all the mouth sex of last year, it usually brings one thing to mind… What will future sex be like? It’s fun to reminisce about sticky facials, eating cream pies, and sitting on wet tongues… but that time has past… We’re now well into January and it’s becoming more and more evident to me that this year is going to be much different. Little did we know that with each dirty cell phone photo, naughty web cam show, and remotely operated sex toy use, we were really just preparing for the great Tech Sex Crescendo of 2012!
It’s not hard to believe that SIM techies are masterminding new ways to get it on. Our natural proclivity is to fuck after all, right? I’ve been known to flirt with kinky apps occasionally. It makes running errands a lot more satisfying when your phone is a versatile piece of sex equipment… and cuts down on the cost of supercharged sex toys that cost about the same. Need an “Advanced Guide To Oral Sex” on the fly? Well there’s an app for that on android. In fact there was even an app (since discontinued) called “Puff” for iPhone that allowed users to lift the skirt’s of Japanese girls by blowing into their cell’s microphone, creating a virtual gust of wind. I digress.
It’s intriguing to check out all of the complex toys and gadgets out on the market that highly trained scientists made for your horny mouth & mind. Did you know there are fascinating new technologies being used in Japan to simulate (hot?) make out sessions with your computer? Kissing robot attachments are currently being manufactured to help bridge the gap between Eastern long distance lovers– then the world! The kit simulates everything from pressure to odor and even has the capacity to memorize oral patterns & uniqueness. As The Dude from The Big Lebowski once said, “Interactive erotic software. The wave of the future, Dude. 100% electronic!”
Future Sex is real, and it’s happening all around us– So I’d like to remind everyone just how important it is to go down on each other in real time. Let’s make an effort to reach our maximum Oral Sex potential before Singularity takes us all by the balls– It probably won’t be much longer till bionic features and robotic limbs start making their way south of the belt loop, hence this important blog.