There is no doubt that one of the favourite things for a woman to receive is oral sex. Yes, there are some women who simply don’t enjoy it, no matter how good their partner may be, but these women are in the minority. Oral sex tends to be a favourite among women because it allows their partner to use techniques that involve a lot of precision, using a wide variety of textures and types of stimulation. If you’re a straight/bi male, you sticking your dick in a vagina limits you on the different sensations you can provide and what exact spots you hit. Sure you can press your pubic mound against hers to stimulate the clit without needing your hands and you can angle your penis towards her g-spot, but it will never be as controlled and direct as oral.

Simply put, there is no other feeling like a mouth on your vulva. It’s warm, wet and so many different sensations can be experienced. Hot or cold air can be gently blown over the pussy lips and whole vulva area. Lips can kiss, ever-so-gently brush against or suck on every inch of her womanly bits. The tongue can be made to be soft, flat and broad, or firm and pointy to lick, swirl, press or flick. Teeth can be used to gently nibble or even apply a bit more pressure for some pain play. Add moaning in and the vibrations traveling up from the throat to the mouth will act like a vibrator on her.

Notice how I said “every inch”? I can’t stress that enough. The clit is not the only part of the vulva that is sensitive to stimulation! Inner thighs, outer and inner lips, the perineum, the urethral meatus, the vaginal opening, the clit and all the other areas there that you can get your mouth on can be incredibly sensitive. It’s about playing around with different speeds (fast is not always better!), sensations, and techniques. Take. Your. Time. The average woman takes 30 minutes of continual stimulation to reach orgasm. It’s all about a nice gradual build up. The worst you can do is try to get her to orgasm right off the bat. Instead, let her know you’re going to be down there for a while and she should make herself good and comfortable. Tease her like you’ve never teased her before. Go painfully slow and explore every fold, nook, and cranny present between her thighs. Pay attention to which types of stimulation she responds to and what areas are really sensitive.

Don’t be afraid to be silly with it. Pinch her outer lips together and move your hands in a motion like you’re trying to jerk her clit off through the lips. Suck, nibble and pull on the lips. When your mouth is on her, play with different moaning or humming sounds; the pitch of the hum changes the feel of the vibrations. Hold her clitoral hood between your lips or fingers and have her do kegel exercises to move her clit up and down and jerk herself off. Or suck her clit off like you’re giving her a blowjob. It’s all about being creative, adventurous and just experimenting as much as you can to find new ‘tricks’.

Some women need the same stimulation over and over again, while others need you to keep switching it up. Personally? Put your fucking fingers in me and get my g-spot going! I can’t stand it when a guy is only using his mouth on me and forgetting how unbelievably amazing it is for him to do that along with his fingers rubbing against my g-spot. But not every woman is the same. Some don’t experience any pleasure from g-spot stimulation or fingering, so TALK to your partner about what she likes. You can also use a hand or two to play with her breasts, push down on her pubic mound, or gently stroke any part of her body that’s within reach.

Oral is all about having fun. You need to be enjoying yourself just as much as she is. It’s not something to be taken so seriously… play around, be silly and that’s when you learn so much more about your partner’s sexual response than ever before. The more you put yourself out there and really work to figure out all the different things you can do to her, the more willing she’ll be when she returns the favour and goes down on you. Encourage each other to be as adventurous and creative as possible and a whole new world of oral pleasure will emerge.

Read more from maxxters at thesexpertslounge.com.

Maxxters is a female in her late 20s and a former high school teacher. She taught Science and Sex Ed to 12-18 year olds. She’s currently working on her Master’s degree in Human Sexuality. She is also an aerobics instructor and personal trainer, working with those who suffer from eating disorders and body image issues. Send her your questions at: maxxters@sexpertslounge.com